Film Reviews

‘The Wayward Mistress’ (1973), with Suzanne Fields and Keith Erickson, is a case of porn-makers with delusions of adequacy. This pretentious junker is a boring time-killer.

For no apparent reason, the excellent porn film, ‘Whatever Happened to Miss September?’ has gotten lost in the shuffle. It was a big deal back in its day.

All the motifs and fetishes of Joe Sarno’s innumerable softcore movies appear in ‘Sleepy Head’ (1973), starring Tina Russell and Georgina Spelvin, but with hardcore sex footage included.

Richard Robinson is a classic case of a porn filmmaker who displayed enough talent to go mainstream but never got a break. Such is the fate of a pornographer.

‘The Sexualist’, starring Jennifer Welles, will appeal mainly to people who are open-minded about what is funny. I found it silly, and cheating in the XXX department.

Via clumsy ad lib dialog and even clumsier sex scenes, Shaun Costello’s ‘Teachers and Cream’ adds up to an unfunny, overlong skit, hardly the expected behind-the-scenes satire of a porno shoot.

Film students will want to suffer through ‘Sex Weirdo’ (1973), a compilation film from Nick Millard. Other potential viewers should be card carrying Millard masochists (like me).

It’s the energy that sets a Shaun Costello 1-day porn wonder apart from the competition, and ‘Maxines Dating Service’ (1973), starring Ultramax, is immediately recognizable as the master’s work.

Modern audiences have become accustomed to the boring nature of wall-to-wall sex exercises like ‘The Love Witch’, but early adult cinema fans deserved better, having paid for more than just an extended loop.

Filmmaker Costello owns up freely (statute of limitations, baby) to ‘Tina Makes a Deal’ being a mafia-funded movie, but that’s irrelevant as it’s merely a silly, sometimes amusing porn programmer.

My nominee for worst porn filmmaker of all time is one Peter Savage, an ego-tripping contemporary of Gerard Damiano who used the genre for self-aggrandizement.

Accurately titled XXX film ‘Bedroom Bedlam’ (1973) presents the familiar farce of folks hiding out in the closet or bathroom due to the unexpected arrival of a spouse (or other interested party) interrupting a tryst.

Various early XXX stars are featured in the forgettable porn film ‘The Winning Stroke’, notably John Holmes, Ric Lutze, Rick Cassidy, Cyndee Summers and Orita de Chadwick. They’ve all done better.

It’s not clear what the intent was with ‘Heterosexualis’, an exhaustingly dumb comedy populated by beautiful soft (and hard) adult movie actresses – and character actor Michael Pataki.

Introed in her cap and gown, Tina Russell trades school stories with Marc Stevens in Campus Girls, a standard compilation of loops. I prefer storyline films from the early hardcore era.

When a researcher recently added to the credits of the great Anthony Spinelli many previously anonymously-helmed films, I realized his versatility was tremendous.

Even in its minimalist approach, this combo sci-fi/porn film, ‘Cries of Ecstasy, Blows of Death’, seems ambitious compared to other genre-mashing early ’70s movies.

I had watched the low-quality porn film, ‘Six Times Ingrid’, on a Something Weird DVD several years back and it registered a ho-hum response, but looking at it again I notice its truly awful nature.

Shaun Costello’s ‘Sexual Freedom in the Ozarks’, featuring Andrea True, is quite minor but carries his stamp of clever plots, solid improvisation, and slapdash production.

The De Neuve (or Nueve) Sisters, with various first names displayed, represent an extremely obscure group of pornographers hailing from Frisco. Whoever they are, they’re talented filmmakers.

Perhaps the only name filmmaker to regularly contribute info to IMDb, Shaun Costello admitted that ‘Sweet Sexteen’ disappointed its backers (mafioso to hear him tell it, statute of limitations permitting).

If one judges porn merely by the femme star’s beauty/performance, then Sex Psychiatrist is successful. But once you get past star Dalana Bissonnette’s obvious appeal, you’ve got nothing.

Shaun Costello tries his hand (and cock) at drawing-room comedy in ‘Guess Who’s Coming’, never as clever as its title. He probably digs classics like ‘Dinner at Eight’ (1933), but lacks the Cukor touch.

Cousin Pauline is an unusual porn film, but of interest to the hardcore fans of ’70s roughies. I’m curious as to its authorship and production circumstances, as it doesn’t fit into any of the usual pigeonholes.

Intentionally goofy porn films are quite common, but ‘Curious Women’ is one of the odder ones I’ve seen from the Golden Age, probably bored filmmakers injecting strangeness for strangeness sake.

Carlos Tobalina made so many porn films & videos that the wheat has gotten lost amidst the chaff, but ‘Three Ripening Cherries’, with its terrific female cast, holds up very well and deserves rediscovery.

Recycled footage is the name of the game in this John Holmes vehicle, ‘How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Lays…..!’ (1979). I like director Walt Davis’s work, but not this baby.

The masseuse is a mainstay (currently quite popular) in porn, but ‘Deep Rub’, an all-star production from the Golden Age featuring Desiree Cousteau, simply rounds up the usual suspects and kills time.

I’m compelled to submit this review as prior IMDb-er missed the point entirely. Far from a Golden Age classic, ‘Little Blue Box’ is one of many cut-rate loop carriers from that era, recycling old stag footage.

Roger Scorpio plays Sammy, a guy watching stag movies on his 16mm projector, as an excuse to recycle some old porn footage for your listening and dancing pleasure.

Something Weird’s version of the hoary porn film, ‘The Sexpert’, featuring Marlene Willoughby and Randy West ends abruptly, but the truncation doesn’t spoil much – it’s a waste of talent.

The mockumentary, ‘Superstar John Holmes’, about John “The Wadd” Holmes is entertaining proportional to the degree one tolerates bull and exaggeration.

With John Holmes as its marketing hook, ‘One Way at a Time’ is an intentionally sloppy, anything-goes style porn film from the team of Alan and Laurie Colberg, featuring Laurien Dominique, Sharon Kane.

In porn there are obscure films and obscure performers, and ‘California Cowgirls’ delivers both. It’s a showcase for Bronco Johnny Hardon, a guy who out-wadds Johnny Holmes.

Gay porn director Arch Brown delivers a surprisingly effective statement slipped into the otherwise routine XXX movie ‘Pier Groups’. Even hetero viewers will get the message, a haunting one at that.

John Holmes stars in the loop carrier ‘Sheer Panties’, which defies its title to simply present Kitten Natividad hosting stag films produced by Swedish Erotica. Audiences may have preferred a real movie.

Very familiar as a comical porn actor in the early ’70s, John Seeman directed a few comedies, of which ‘Blonds Have More Fun’ is a diverting but routine vehicle, featuring Dorothy LeMay and Jesie St. James.

Not one of Gary Graver’s sterling achievements, ‘Tangerine’ is nonetheless an effective porn programmer. It’s premise is that attractive MILF Jennifer West pimps out her teen daughters.

After watching filmmaker Peter Balakoff ego-trip his way through ‘The Psychiatrist’ (1978), I was well prepared for his bloated ‘One Page of Love’. He’s back, but at least the sex scenes are stimulating.

George Payne and Jack Wrangler pair up as a couple of gobs in ‘Navy Blue’, a tongue-in-cheek porn film by the Amero Bros. It’s well-crafted low-budget porn, with enough sex to satisfy fans then and (perhaps) now.

“Norman Gurney” is the pseudonym for the filmmaker responsible for ‘Secrets of a Willing Wife’, a mindless porn exercise from the genre’s Golden Age. Some brain damage is evident here.

Not among his major works, ‘Summer Heat’ is nevertheless another demonstration of the movie-making skills of pioneer pornographer Alex De Renzy. It’s romantic and almost delivers.

John Christopher was known for cranking out assembly line product during the “porno chic” era, and ‘Candi Girl’ is typical of his modest achievements. It’s a case where more is promised than is delivered.

I’m on record with a preference for “real”, storyline movies from Shaun Costello, and ‘Sunny’ qualifies. Had his script been more interesting and better-developed, this would have been a winner.

In ‘Librianna, Bitch of the Black Sea’ (1979), a bogus opening crawl claims this garbage was filmed secretly in the Soviet Union (“near the Arctic”) at great peril.

Harold Lee’s ‘Star of the Orient’ (1979) is a slapped together porn film which shows both the auteur’s strengths and egregious weaknesses. Like his ‘Oriental Treatment’ (1977), it’s a mixed bag.

Prolific porno director Richard Mailer cranked out the time-killer, ‘A Girl Like That’, wasting the talents of some top NYC actresses. Something Weird has reissued it on Vol. 122 of its Dragon Art Theatre series.

Aside from featuring Jack Wrangler, ‘Killing Me Softly’ is a rather perfunctory MOS exercise about a gay killer on the loose in Manhattan. That said it’s better than the Heather Graham thriller of this title.